Nursing in Guate

No, I’m not talking about the Registered Nurse kind of nursing.  I’m talking about the much more delightful topic: old fashioned suckling, aka, breastfeeding.  The reason I bring it up is if you spend any amount of time here you’re bound to get an eyeful of a little person getting a mouthful.

Before anyone hyperventilates, let me state that I am categorically pro-breast.  I was suckled at my own mother’s breast and have lamented since then that I cannot remember a moment of it, and my wife has breastfeed each of our children.  I think every mother should, if possible, and I find the breastfeeding police in the US (you know, the ones who think breastfeeding in public should be a felony), absurd.

Despite this comfort of mine with something that is perfectly natural and good, I must say that I was not prepared to see women nursing in public with their entire breast exposed.  I’m not exaggerating folks, these moms whip that thing out like I might extend my hand to greet someone.  The thing that makes all this even more odd is that most women here are very modest.

Anyone who knows anything about breastfeeding knows it’s kind of like a hand-off in (American) football, and it requires just the right timing and coordination, or there might be a fumble.  A fumble can lead to a kid crying, loud sucking sounds indicative of poor alignment, or in some cases, an exasperated mom just letting it hang there as if to say to the kid, “Well, are you going to take it or not?”

A few weeks ago, I saw this in the park.  I was sitting on a bench getting my shoes shined and waiting for a friend, and a woman was on the bench opposite me trying to nurse.  Fortunately I had my sunglasses on so if I was staring it may not have been that obvious.  The mother had this kid on her lap who looked like he might have been 5 3, and was trying to get him to nurse.  The kid was kind of playing with it, but didn’t appear too interested, so she just left it there, dangling in front of him, and every now and then he would take a sip like I might of a nice glass of wine.  This continued while she made small talk with passing acquaintances.

A few days later I grabbed a chicken bus into town (they go right past my neighborhood and right by the bodegona and only cost 1.5Q), and realized I had made the mistake of getting on at lunch time.  The bus was packed, and by that I mean around 120 people on a bus built for 52.  That’s 3 people in each of the 26 seats, plus the entire isle filled from front to back, usually two abreast (no pun intended).

After the pushing and shoving was done I found myself standing in the isle next to a family of of four, a husband, wife, a young girl, and a nursing baby.  The daughter was sitting on the husband’s lap, and the mother was on the isle with the kid in her lap, ostensibly nursing from the breast which was only centimeters from my right thigh, and which I was working hard to avoid brushing up against.  Mom was asleep, or at least trying, and the kid was somewhat interested, drawing for 30 seconds to a minute or so, then backing off for a breather for a minute or two before resuming.  In the intervals, that C-cup breast just bounced all over.  I stopped trying to avoid the thing and looked away, pretending I hadn’t noticed anything.

Yesterday I was walking from Delicio, where I get such luxury items as cranberry juice, pickles and JIF peanut butter, towards the park, and there were two women standing on the sidewalk talking.  It’s not uncommon that local women will choose to have a long chat on the sidewalk and not bother to move, but what struck me this time is that one of the women was nursing a very small child, and again the entire breast was in full view.  This time, I was determined to do some people watching, so I crossed the street, leaned on a corner and watched.

You see, for me it’s kind of like an auto accident in that you know you shouldn’t stare, you turn away, but find yourself inexorably drawn to look again.  It’s not even a sexual thing; I don’t know any Dads out there who’ve watched their wife or sister or friend nurse a kid before and think of it as sexual, but it’s still a spectacle.  So, my purpose was to watch for a few minutes and see if anyone else took note.

It was obvious immediately that none of the locals, Ladino or Mayan, took any note of the breast, which by this time was detached and enjoying a slight breeze while the kid played with Mom’s necklace.  (Real jade, no doubt).  Several older expat-looking types walked by, and if the 60-ish women or hippie guys even noticed, I couldn’t tell.  Then three very tall, very blond 20-ish backpacker girls, either from Norway or Sweden, I couldn’t tell, walked by on the street, and all looked…hard.  One of them almost tripped on a cobblestone as she gawked, but at least they kept moving.

A few minutes later, three obviously American dudes, all wearing shorts and flip flops, and one of their girlfriends, in extremely tight short-shorts and a tank top, ambled by and one by one proceeded to fall over one another as they each did a double-take and, after walking further, had to turn around and take one final look.

I knew instantly that I wasn’t alone.  Apparently we young(er) Americans aren’t accustomed to seeing the breast in public.  So, if you’re like me, and perfectly comfortable with your relationship with the female breast, but are not yet accustomed to seeing it swing freely in public, well, watch some National Geographic films before coming so you don’t trip down Calle del Arco and have to come up with some lame story to explain your fall.