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Archive for January, 2010

Readers may have noticed that I took a few days off since the last post, the first time I’ve not blogged for more than a day since I began.  It’s not a good idea to speak or write when you’re angry, and I got more than one email concerned that I might be developing an unjustified anger towards ALL Chapines.  Not to worry, but I did decide to take a break.  This morning I was browsing my draft posts to see what might be nice to post today when I received some intel you won’t believe…

A kid was spotted doing some recon in our area and in his hand was-you guessed it-a slingshot.

Unfortunately, by the time the report arrived it was too late to send in the cavalry, armed with the lightsabers they got for Christmas that, with blades of painted copper and handles of painted aluminum pipe, could be interesting.

Stay tuned.

A few months back when I reported about the attorneys going around town telling people that the Wife and I had stolen our children, I was pretty upset.  It’s a small town and when you’re trying to do business and people are willing to touch on an issue that is as hot and sensitive as adoptions/stolen children, well, I was pretty hot about it.

Today brought me to the worst feelings I’ve had about this place in 15 months.  Let me give you some background; on a frequent basis the Wife or I take the kids out into the neighborhood or in the empty lot next door and they kick the soccer ball around, climb trees and basically do harmless, old-fashioned kid stuff.  One of us always accompanies them for their own safety and to make sure everyone is well-behaved.

Over the last few weeks, there have been some strange happenings.  One of the kids told me that he thought someone had thrown a rock at him.  I didn’t pay it much attention since he couldn’t actually point a finger, but the next day he had a huge bruise on his leg.  It’s hard to place blame when you’re a rough and tumble kid and you have a mysterious bruise.

Well, a few days later the Wife was sitting with the kids and got hit by another mysterious flying rock.  She looked around and wasn’t able to place where the rock had come from or who might have thrown it.

Today the Wife and kids were outside playing when the two year-old suddenly dropped to the ground and after those long seconds of silence which preface an outburst, began screaming wildly.  We wouldn’t have had any clue except that at the exact same instant the Wife was hit by a small piece of brick which presumably ricocheted off the baby or originated from the same place.

The impact left a gash and a huge knot, not bad enough for an emergency room trip but pretty severe.  I surveyed the scene with a neighbor and we quickly ruled out about 270 degrees of the field as an origin for the rock based on the wall that separates the neighborhood from the street, dense trees and our own house.  The severity of the impact on the baby’s head and the substantial bruising left by the previous projectiles pointed toward a device, unless Nolan Ryan is hiding behind a tree and throwing 90 mph rocks and broken bricks.

We found nothing, but my suspicion was immediately centered on a kid with a slingshot.  Regrettably, we didn’t find such a kid, in fact, we found nothing at all suspicious, there are only a handful of houses around that could shield an assailant and the lay of the land is such that there just aren’t that many angles that would work.  However, it was obvious to me that someone has noticed a pattern of the gringo kids playing outside in the afternoons and has decided to use them for target practice.

I shared the story with Santiago, concluding, “I can’t believe it”, to which he replied, “Dude, that’s the way it works here.  They hate you because you have money and white skin and they’ll attack the weakest, most defenseless member of your family with a slingshot and then slip back into the shadows.  Even if you caught them red handed their parents wouldn’t do anything; they probably know about it and approve.  You’re lucky they weren’t using marbles, which is their favorite weapon.”

So, I hung up the phone and counted to 10.  I don’t lose my temper easily, but neither do I take kindly to people attacking my family.  The kids on the soccer fields who responded to gringo goals by throwing rocks was bad, the licensiados lying about my family around town was pretty bad, but this stuff is deadly.  A small child hit with a brick could be fatal, and I know better than to imagine that anyone here would care if a gringo toddler was blinded, impaired or killed by a Guatemalan kid with a slingshot.

It’s not that kids around the world aren’t bad and don’t throw rocks or use BB guns, but realizing that someone has staked us out and is methodically taking shots at little kids…and who knows how many attempts there have been that have gone unnoticed?  It makes sense that if you’re armed with a slingshot or some other device that you’re going to miss more often than hit, so somebody has been working hard at this.

So, I’m kind of down on life beyond the gated community at the moment.  It’s sinking in that it doesn’t matter how safe I feel around town if the moment my baby steps outside the door he’s target practice for would-be snipers.  I know some of you readers will laugh at my concern over what is undoubtedly nothing compared to the violence some experience regularly, but when I think about how close we came today to losing a child, I get sick to my stomach and wonder what my hand in it would have been since I am the one who brought my children into this culture.

Two weeks ago I was out with The Wife when a tumulo scraped unusually hard and a block or two later the oil level light came on.  Readers may remember that this old Mercedes has had a few run-ins with tumulos before.  Knowing the car was losing oil quickly, I had to make a quick decision and so drove the wrong way on 7th Avenue in order to park the car in front of a friend’s apartment, where it sat until Gunther could tow it to his place (the gas station on 4th Calle at 1st Avenue).

It turns out the most recent ‘cold weld’ repair to the oil pan was just too fragile for the tough streets of Antigua.  This time around I asked Gunther to take a few additional preventive steps, which included new shocks on the front end, plus what he called some ’spacers’ which he would insert in the springs on the front axle.  I’m not a car guy, but I understood the idea would be to lift the delicate parts of the underbelly of the car about an inch higher off the ground, and the shocks would hopefully keep the old girl from bottoming out.

I had also mentioned to Gunther that the brakes were shaking a little at high speed and asked him to investigate.

Well, it took two full weeks, but here was the itemization:

1.  New front shocks

2.  Spacers in the springs to ‘lift’ the car slightly

3.  Turned the discs

4.  New weld on the oil pan

5.  Tow across town

And the bill came to Q2500.  It was hard to complain that it had taken longer than I thought it should have.

I have since had a steel skid plate designed and will hopefully have installed within a few days.  That will show those tumulos!  And, instead of bringing another Mercedes down, my next car will be a Range Rover and I’ll ride those tumulos with pleasure.

Next time you need your car worked on, don’t hesitate to call Gunther’s at 7832-0215, and tell him Don Marco sent you.

Me:  Hello?

Unidentified Female:  Si es usted el gringo que estaba buscando en mi casa?

Me:  Uh…I don’t know, but don’t you think that’s kind of rude?

Unidentified Female:  Lo sentimos, pero es usted el que estaba buscando en mi casa?

Me:  I’ve been looking at a lot of houses.

Unidentified Female:  Vino con otro gringo y un licensiado…

Me:  Yeah, we’re looking for office space together, and the commisionista is showing us offices.  Are you the lady with the house painted all blue on the inside, with the tin roof, rotting ceilings and ugly floors?

Unidentified Female: Sí, tengo la casa que fue una escuela antes de que. Vas a alquilarlo?

Me:  I’ll talk to the commisonista about that.

Unidentified Female: No, quiero saber.

Me: I’m sorry, I don’t do business that way.

Unidentified Female: Usted tiene mal carácter…

Me:  You know, I think I’ve decided…

Unidentified Female: Vas a alquilarlo?

Me:  No, gracias.  Feliz dia.

Carrying a firearm in cold weather requires some preparation; in addition to safety, failing to access your weapon quickly can be the difference between a successful hunting trip and returning empty handed, or a successful defense against an assailant and serious injury. With a few additional steps, it is possible to carry and use a firearm while remaining warm.

When your hands get cold, they get numb, reducing your sensory feedback, and if you put gloves on, you also lose a sense of feel, which can leave you clumsy or ineffective when handling your firearm. Nothing is more important than being able to access and use your weapon quickly, whether you’re in a self-defense situation or hunting, so let’s discuss a few solutions learned from years of carrying firearms in cold weather.

Let’s discuss solutions allowing comfort and the ability to get that shot off quickly.

  • I have used the old woodsman’s trick; cutting a thin slit lengthwise in my glove for my trigger finger to sneak through. One drawback you should be aware of; grabbing a snowy branch, or braking a fall may give you a glove full of snow or ice, which I can promise is not fun.
  • It’s not pretty, but using skateboard tape on your weapons will give you a non-slip, durable surface. Even with thick gloves on you’ll find the firearm easy to hold on to.
  • If you have several firearms, you should consider designating one of them as your ‘cold weather’ weapon, and modify the trigger pull to be much heavier. This will compensate for the lack of feel you’ll experience when wearing gloves.
  • Currently I wear thin poly “wicker” gloves under warm mittens allowing me to slide/fling the mittens as needed still providing some hand protection. Make sure the mitten, or outer layer of glove, can be easily ‘flung’ off your hand.
  • Another method is Nomex flying gloves inside of a shooting mitten (mitten with a velcroed opening in the palm) allowing you to free your fingers when required.

There are other challenge when carrying a weapon in cold weather beyond simply keeping your hands warm and maintaining a sure grip. If you fall and get snow or ice in the muzzle, your accuracy will be severely degrade and your weapon could even malfunction. A few old tricks to keeping the barrel clean include:

1. Placing a little masking tape over the end of the barrell

2. a condom with a rubber band

3. A band aid placed over the muzzle

When hunting with handguns carry your gun under your coat, protecting it from the elements. Cross draw holsters work well with long coats, allowing quick access. If you prefer shoulder holsters, fasten your outer coat to just below the pectoral muscles. The upper portion will stay open allowing you immediate access to your weapon. Keeping your weapon inside an outer coat like this will protect the firearm in the event you take a tumble, which happens if you’re wandering around in snow and ice.

You can modify your coat with pass-through slits providing instant access to your gun. In really bad weather I prefer carrying “beaters” – true rough duty guns, not “safe queen” guns –allowing me to worry more about the deer in the thicket or the gang-banger lingering in the dark corner rather than my gun rusting.

Lubricants will thicken in extremely cold temperatures, which could lead to a misfire, and believe me, if you’ve pulled the gun and attempted to fire, the worst that can happen is not get the shot off. To prevent this you can use graphite, thin watch oil, or a synthetic lubricant as these do not freeze or attract dust. I prefer the synthetic lubricants myself.

If you are carrying additional magazines, keep these inside your pockets to prevent misfires; magazines kept on the outside of your clothing will naturally attract more debris.

Once you have decided which methods you will use in cold weather, practice! Don’t just go to the gun range when it’s sunny and warm, go when it’s cold and nasty. See which clothes work for you and how your setup works. I suggest you try with empty firearms first, and after you’ve gotten your holstering and ‘draw’ perfected in your cold weather gear, then add your ammo.

Finally, add your gloves to the process and see how things work (or don’t work, as it might be). If the gloves are a problem, get rid of them! Gloves are cheap compared to your firearm-or your life-so go shopping for two layers that will work for you, the thin, inner layer that you can use in mild weather, and the thicker, outer layer of gloves that you can discard quickly when the time arrives.

This post by Katie Ficker reminded me of a little epiphany I had the other day while I was with Santiago discovering an alternate route back from San Lucas through Cerro de la Cruz.  I had taken note of the tiny little men, women and children who were climbing the mountain street with huge packs of timber on their backs, held on by straps around their foreheads and thought to myself, “I think these people are too tough for their own good.”

I remember traveling in the hills of Eastern Kentucky and in West Virginia and encountering people who took great pride in how strong and tough they were, how they had endured the worst deprivations and could do it again.  The odd thing is, they would almost welcome it.  Their physical suffering had given birth to an anti-intellectualism and a hardened contrarianism that actually derived joy-or possibly delusion-from the fact that they lacked the fruits of innovation.  I’ll never forget feeling, on the one hand, admiration for how these people had overcome great trials, and alternately the complete confusion that they would so eagerly reject the obvious benefits of technological advancement that leverage man’s productivity and yield a higher standard of living.

Many of you are eager to jump to conclusions about me so let me say that I’ve long been a fan of Russel Kirk and the Agrarian school, and Jefferson is by far my favorite American political theorist, so it’s not that I find no value in these ‘Agrarian’ qualities, but unlike the Amish (whose lifestyle is a byproduct of their belief system rather than the object of it), these living conditions have not been arrived at through an embrace of an ideology or a commitment of a certain way of life;  It’s just ‘the way things are’.

I thought about that and wondered why it is that some people consciously reject the benefits offered by innovation.  Take the family carrying the wood; why don’t they use a bicycle-powered cart?  Are not the benefits of the wheel and the greater cargo carrying space easily apparent?  Don’t they realize that they could gather more, transport more, and do it more quickly and easily with even the most rudimentary of devices, something that could be put together from the metal scraps that line the streets?  The bicycle cart is pedaled up the hill, and then gravity helps to bring it down, faster and with less labor than hands and feet.  One man could do more in a day than his entire family.

Many of the Guatemaltecos that I’ve come to know (and subsequently realize harbor resentment of the US), believe that time/pleasure are more important than merely what you can produce through your labor, and bristle at Gringo suggestions about productivity.  I discussed this in GuateTime and GuateGrudge.  They condemn, despise, and perhaps pity the first world for having swapped the discomfort of our 19th century lifestyles for the obligations which come with 21st century lifestyles.  Ironically, they resent us for having achieved what they envy.  Think about that for a moment.

I’m often asked, in an aggressive, questioning tone by locals or Noble Savage Expats,  “What are you doing here?”, and I haven’t yet encountered someone who really understood that it would be possible for someone to come here without the intention of raping and pillaging.  I want to shake these people and say, “You don’t know anyone who knows anyone who was enslaved by the conquistadors, and you probably don’t know anyone who was actually mistreated by the UFC (substitute your favorite scapegoat of choice); you’re just looking to blame The Man”.

I tried to explain the concept of Leisure, as expressed so eloquently by Josef Pieper, and it falls on deaf ears.  Perhaps the lecture would have been more effective had it been delivered by El Blogador, or perhaps the concept does not translate to this culture.  (I might add I have friends in the US, who, on the opposite end of the spectrum, see work itself as the ‘end’).

Thoughts and criticisms are welcome.

For those of you who found my record of the recent earthquake too clinical, read Kara’s from NewMaya:

My friend Esteban Tweeted me today shortly after the 6.0 magnitude earthquake reported to have taken place offshore Guatemala at 9:40 AM on January 18. He writes: “Was it a temblor or a terremoto?” When I sent him the USGS link that presents the “Earthquake Details,” he tweeted again: “Glad u ok. My parents said it was a bit strong but definitely just a “temblor” where they were. They think “terremoto” and they think 1976.”

It’s an important distinction that is lost somewhere in translation, but more importantly remembered in time,  February 4, 1976 to be exact, when Guatemala had it’s last big earthquake which many remember as “El Terremoto”. To put it in context: the Guatemala Earthquake we had today was 64 miles deep, the Haiti Earthquake was 5 miles deep, causing more damage and affecting a wider area, BuzzyBloggers informs us. “The most massive earthquake that struck Guatemala was in 1976 – a 7.5 magnitude earthquake that shook Guatemala at 3:00 AM, 5 km deep.”

She also has a really cool picture from the 1976 quake.  Check it out!

I lurk on LonelyPlanet’s Thorntree forum for Central America once or twice a week.  It’s a good place to pick up info that you might not get anywhere else.  You have to be good at scanning because there’s a lot of drama, spam and otherwise worthless stuff on there, but you do find some good stuff occasionally.

For example, the recent trip report I posted about, and then this guy who stayed in Antigua and took some great pictures.  Check out the photos!

No, it’s not another confiscation scheme from the socialists in Washington or your state capital masquerading as help for the needy, this event will actually benefit children!  From JP at RumBar:

We’re doing another NGO event at RumBar for Ninos de Guatemala, an education project based in Ciudad Vieja. The party is this Thursday, January 21st. It begins at 6:30pm and will go on till about 11pm. The 25Q cover at the door gives you free food and great music by the famous La Raiz. We will also do a raffle with prizes from Panza Verde, Earth Lodge, Reilly’s, Old Town Outfitters, Cafe No Se, Travel Menu, Jades, S.A., David Bau, Toko Baru, Skin Deep Spa, YogAntigua, Nancy Payne massages, and Kathleen Marsh Acupuncture.
If you would please send this along to your friends – the more the merrier and the more we can help Ninos de Guatemala.
Thank you so much and I hope to see you here!!
What could be better…free food, drinks and the knowledge that you’re helping little kids?  I hope to see you there, and if you can’t make it, send a donation via paypal to Ninos de Guatemala.  (Link coming shortly).

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