When we left Phoenix we made the decision to store unique valuables and sell everything else.  Once we settled here and decided to stay, we faced the monumental task of starting from scratch by accumulating everything from appliances, to furniture and other household goods. For most people this may be a better decision than shipping a container, and it certainly has been for us.

One of the first tasks was to find comfortable furniture.  You won’t find American or European style furniture here, in particular the comfy Lazy Boy style chairs and comfortable couches and sofas that are common in the US.  I’ve always preferred leather furniture for its enduring style, sturdiness and ease of cleaning.  Good stuff like that is two to three times the cost of comparable quality in the US, so I endeavored to have something built for me.

First I hired a carpenter I knew to build the frames.  Admittedly I didn’t think this all the way through; I should have found one shop that really knew how to build furniture.  Instead, I found a needy but competent carpenter, who built a sofa and loveseat strong enough to hold a dozen gringos.  This thing was overbuilt by a factor of three.  And all the dimensions suggested said carpenter thought the average gringo was about 7′2″. The frame for the sofa and loveseat cost me 1500Q.

So the stuff sat while I contemplated the next step.  One day I overhead Maid #6 telling Maid #7 (her older sister), that her husband didn’t have much work.  I knew her husband was a skilled carpenter, and a friend had seen some of his work.  Knowing that I was already networking into a pretty good family, I told her to call her husband and have him come by.

90 minutes later Jose was at the door.  He brought several catalogs, material samples and an eager disposition.  I liked the guy and he asked lots of good questions.  He took lots of measurements and notes and wanted to confer with his boss before giving me a quote.  Four hours later he returned saying each couch would cost 2000Q to finish to my requirements.  I paid half on the loveseat, telling him I wanted to take one at a time to make sure it was to my requirements.

Two weeks to the day, Jose showed up at my house at 7am.  I was lying in bed, wishing I hadn’t stayed at Panza Verde entertaining some Mules until 1:30am.  Anyway, per the instructions I have received from the ‘good families’ of Guatemala, I rewarded his presumption by taking a shower before meeting him.  You see, this guy didn’t call me to see if he could come out, didn’t even bother coming with his wife an hour later, and hadn’t brought the couch.  It takes some getting used to if you, like me, were trained to answer the phone quickly, not make anyone wait at the door, and quickly accommodate unannounced visitors, but the reality here is that people show up unannounced at all hours of the day (and night), and the veterans and locals tell me that when this happens you deal with it on your own terms.

So after showering and avoiding the mirror, I hit the coffee machine extra hard and welcomed Jose in.  He explained that he had delivered the loveseat to my office the day before, and wanted final payment plus the half for the next one.  I calmly but firmly explained that he needed to deliver the couch to my house, and that I would be here all day.  I gave him some money for the bus and sent him on his way, irritated.

Well, the next day he showed up at about 5pm.  I was out in the neighborhood doing a recon mission with the kids, looking for a gringo couple who are neighbors and occasional commenters on this blog but who have steadfastly avoided introducing themselves, when The Wife called saying Jose was here with the loveseat.  I pointed out to the kids which house I thought belonged to the gringos and why, and made my way back to El Compound to discover that Jose and his accomplice couldn’t get the loveseat through the door to the house.

For a moment I thought that by some bizarre chance the loveseat really might be too big for the door frame, and since all the doors are steel and thus welded, it’s not easy to take a door off the hinges and gain an extra few centimeters.  But looking at the loveseat I couldn’t believe it was really too big.  Too prove me wrong, the older gentleman took his tape measure, measured the width of the door frame and then the largest part of the loveseat.

For a moment I couldn’t comprehend, and then I realized that these two guys hadn’t considered angling the loveseat so as to present the longest portion through the door and then rotating the loveseat to bring it through at an angle.  After all, this was the loveseat, not the couch, and it wasn’t as though it was so long as to prevent rotating.

I struggled to explain in Spanish what I wanted, but step by step I coached them through it and they both expressed amazement as it (easily) fit through by turning on it’s end and then rotating once inside the door frame.  They beamed at the discovery while I gave the loveseat a good trial.

This loveseat had been finished well in a nice beige leather, but something was missing.  Something significant.  As I sat on it, I realized that even with my 6 foot-plus size, the depth was extraordinary.  The loveseat was missing the cushions at the back. To sit on the couch you had to sit upright, not resting against anything. After a lot of explanations and demonstrations, I got them to understand what I needed.  They were happy to provide what I needed, but warned it would require more money.  I thought about arguing that the pictures we had used as examples all included cushions, but decided this was a case of miscommunication and not a scam.

So I paid the balance on the loveseat, told him to get back to me on the price for the extra cushions, and paid half for the sofa, which he promised to deliver within two weeks.

To be continued…