Archive for Real Estate
Another Unbelievable Real Estate Story
Posted by: | CommentsMy friend, we’ll call him Paul, is a retiree from Indiana. He found Antigua through this blog and has been looking for a house to rent. He found a great condo in gated community and the owner was eager to rent the property. Paul asked me for my advice, so I took a look at it, told him the rent price was fair, and encouraged him to use my lawyer to guide him through the contract process.
Things got bizarre early. The landlord, a Guatemalan woman claiming to be a lawyer, gave Paul a short contract in English. English-language contracts here aren’t binding, for one, and I thought it bizarre that a local attorney would go that route when she undoubtedly has a standard rental agreement of her own. So my lawyer contacted the woman and said he would draw up a legal contract for Paul which she could review. She didn’t object but was adamant that Paul would have to pay for the lawyer. Well, of course.
The next odd thing was the landlord asked Paul for first and last month’s rent plus $1,000 security deposit. This amounted to $2,000 down on a $500 a month condo. I told Paul that was way too much, and that everyone else in town asked for the first month’s rent plus a deposit equal to one month. All the agencies work on the same formula, and I’ve never heard a landlord ask for anything else. So that was bizarre. Eventually they agreed to drop the demand for the last month’s rent, but wouldn’t budge on the $1,000 deposit. Paul agreed because he liked the place so much.
My attorney and the landlord went back and forth on the contract, keeping Paul advised as they negotiated all the little things. Then one day Paul gets an email from the landlord, telling him the contract will be signed the following day at another attorney’s office in Antigua. It didn’t take much to figure out that the landlord was trying to do a run-around on my attorney. What we then learned was amazing; my attorney had requested a certificate proving that the ‘landlord’ actually owned the property, or otherwise had rights to lease it, and the landlord had refused. It was at this point that they made the desperate attempt to trick Paul into signing a contract with another lawyer, the same lawyer I had a run in with when I was trying to put together a business deal (only to later learn she actually represented the opposing party, a fact she had forgotten to mention to me in all of our meetings).
Paul’s head was spinning with all this…but the gist was pretty clear: they were asking for an unusually large amount of up-front money, they refused to use my lawyer for a contract, demanding instead that Paul use one known to be untrustworthy, and refused to provide a title showing they owned the property.
Unfortunately, people here lease and sell properties all the time that do not really belong to them, but this example shows how the transaction can really work, and the warning signs to watch for. My guess is that most gringos would get tricked into the deal, not knowing a trusted attorney of their own or being too worried about the expense to bother hiring their own. They think that because they’re paying the attorney that the attorney is working for them, but in reality, most gringos are new to town, don’t know how the scam works, and just go along, later finding out they’re living in someone else’s house and have absolutely no recourse. When the attorney is hired by the landlord and paid by the dumb gringo, nobody has an incentive to find out if the deal is kosher.
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Shocking But True
Posted by: | CommentsI was out looking at office space recently and had agreed to meet the real estate agent at a gas station at 11am. She arrived promptly at 11:30 sin apology, and took me to see the office. It was okay, but not great, and when I explained (again) what I was looking for she said, “Oh, I have just the place, would you like to go see it now?”
She described the location and, knowing exactly where it was, I agreed to meet her there in 10 minutes.
I arrived and was a little surprised to find the agent not there already, since I had made a point of stopping at the bank, pharmacy and dry cleaners to give the agent time to figure out where it was, try the key, call the person with the key, wait for that person to arrive and otherwise go through the GuateMotions to show a house.
I waited for 15 minutes (my max wait time for commissionistas), and called her.
DM: Que pasa?
Agent: Oh, I’m sorry, I have to take lunch to my daughter at school.
DM: Que? You told me to meet you over here in 10 minutes, that was 45 minutes ago. I really thought you would be here waiting for me.
Agent: Fijese, I promised my daughter I would take her lunch.
DM: Yeah, but you promised me you’d show me this house and I’ve been waiting.
Agent: Ha ha ha. Fijese, my daughter…
DM: Yeah, so how old is this daughter?
Agent: Oh, she’s 22.
DM: Okay, thank you.
Agent: But I can be there in about an hour, would you like to wait?
DM: No gracias. Good luck with lunch!
Advice to Future Expats
Posted by: | CommentsI’m getting a lot of email now from folks who are thinking about moving here. Often times people visit for a week and stay in a nice hotel in Antigua and then decide that they’re going to retire here instead of Destin or Phoenix.
You all know I love it here, I brought my kids here and I’m investing here, but it’s not for everyone, and the last thing you should do is jump into something without trying it. I strongly recommend renting a place short term before buying a house or selling everything in the US and moving down here. I met one reader recently who told me, “I moved down here because of your blog, if things don’t work out I’m going to blame you.” I assumed she was kidding.
Anyway, if you’re thinking about moving here, please rent something first. I highly recommend Antigua Rentals for short term, furnished rentals. I know those folks personally, they manage the properties well and only work with owners who are reasonable people. On the other hand, if you’re ready to jump into something longer-term, then I recommend Alberto at Qmec. He speaks English, is honest and reliable, and knows the market place. You can get a 3 bedroom condo in a quite neighborhood for around $500. When you visit with him ask him about the finca he lives on.
The normal arrangement on a rental here is one month’s deposit and the first month’s rent. Anything more and you’re getting taken. A copy of your passport and cash is all that you’ll need. All contracts are in Spanish, and you have the legal right to have it read to you in English. An English contract won’t be enforceable. I suggest you hire a competent, trusted attorney to help you, otherwise you are very likely to be taken advantage of by your landlord. For example, I have yet to meet an expat who ever got a deposit returned, even when they left the property in better condition than they found it. I do know expats who’ve rented properties only to find that the owner didn’t know his property was even available for rent. That can make for an awkward situation.
Chapin: Excuse me, who are you?
Gringo: Uh, I live here. Who are you?
Chapin: Fijese, I own the house.
Gringo: So who is Juan Roberto Something or Other?
Chapin: That’s my ex-wife’s brother’s cousin. But he doesn’t own the house.
Gringo: But I paid him six months’ rent two weeks ago…
Chapin: Fijese, but my family will be here in a few hours and you need to be gone.
If you have a lawyer who understands how the scam works, your odds of ever seeing your deposit again increase to 50/50, plus he can check to see if the person renting the house really owns it. That can be tricky since much of the property here isn’t really titled in the sense that you and I think of. It’s more like Tombstone, AZ, or Atlanta circa 1865. And never, ever, ever, use the attorney recommended by the seller/landlord or their agent. You’re going to pay the attorney, so it should be your guy. Your guy should be my guy. Sure, their guy may only charge 300Q, but you’ll end up wishing you owned stock in Unilever.
Make sure the contract says explicitly that if you (tenant) deem the property to be uninhabitable, you can move. That way if your neighbor is born again tomorrow and his house becomes an evangelical church, you can move. Or if someone decides to open a saw mill in what yesterday looked like a nice, quiet home. Or if the roof and windows leak so much when it rains that you need an industrial wet vac six months of the year. The reality is that you can break a lease and lose your deposit and nothing more, but it’s better to have the contract on your side, so when your former landlord tells everyone in town that you’re gringo scum and wouldn’t pay your rent, you can sue them and lock up their bank accounts, assets, seize their passport and get them on a DHS watchlist. It’s a shame that the wheels of justice can take so long to turn, too. Like six months to get a hearing. Ask me about it sometime.
Oh yeah, one more thing. Never, ever inherit a gardener or maid. If you’re in the house for a few weeks, you might think you can’t avoid this, but believe me, you can. Just say, “You can pay the maid if you’d like, but I’ve got my own maid and I won’t let yours in”. The landlord’s maid knows she works for the landlord and you’ll be gone in a few weeks, even if when you leave you’re light an iPod, a ring, or 5lbs of sugar. Plus she’ll just ignore you and clean-or pretend to clean-the way she wants to. So hire your own maid. Worst case-although not by any means uncommon-she’ll tell a ‘friend’ what you have and when you’re not home and you’ll return to find your passports, cash, computers and anything else they can carry gone.
If the unemployment rate ever falls below 30% (according to the Don Marco Index of Vital Economic Indicators), you might have trouble finding help. Until then, you can have a line of people at your door tomorrow morning. I can help arrange that. It took me six tries and then we figured out the formula and have two fabulous ladies. It’s good sometimes to do this and interview them in front of your existing staff. You think I’m being cruel, but this is the way it works here if you want to send the signal that you’re not to be, how can I say this delicately…taken advantage of.
Hey, you asked for it, I’m giving it to you straight. If you want the touchy-feely GuateDust in the eyes version, navigate to one of those PCV blogs on the blogroll.
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A Real Estate Saga
Posted by: | CommentsA nightmare house hunting story I heard from a expat recently reminded me of an experience from a year ago when I was looking at property.
I found this house in a popular gated community just outside of Antigua. It was quiet, the lot was large, and it was at the top of the Wife’s wish list. The only issue was with the presence of the guardian.
You see, we’ve learned from previous experience with Maid #5 that when you rent a house and inherit domestic help from the owner, said employee doesn’t really work for you. They work for the owner, and so at best, you’re paying for someone who is worthless. At worst, they’re a spy and a thief and there’s not much you can do about it. (Unless you’re Santiago and you tell them to go away and never come back or they’ll be killed).
So anyway I tell the real estate agent we’re interested in the property and would be willing to sign a long-term lease (property has been vacant at that time for at least 9 months, perhaps years). However, I don’t want the guardian/gardener to live on the property. If he’s competent, I’m happy to keep him as gardener, but he’ll have to live somewhere else.
You see, an onsite guardian who doesn’t have too much to do will just sit around and spy on you and your family and report back to the owner. He’ll let people in and have the run of the place when you’re not around. After all, you’re just a temporary resident, he’s lived there for years, and he’s really the one in charge. You could rent it for 5 years and you’re still a transient.
Now, this guardian probably makes Q800-1,000 per month in addition to living rent free. He’s worked for the owner for a long time, so probably she doesn’t want to change his job description in any way or she’ll be forced to pay him severance, which is equivalent to one month’s pay for every year he’s worked. (I know that’s insane but it’s the rule). So let’s say it’s 10 years, she’d be looking at Q10,000.
Now, to put that in perspective, she’s going to have to pay that eventually, and secondly, the property is listed at $1,500 per month.
So I’m thinking that my offer of a two year lease at $1,300 a month plus an option for another two years at $1,500 represents nearly $70,000 in income, compared to about $1,200 in possible severance.
You know what’s coming; the owner said that not only must the gardener stay, but the price wasn’t negotiable. At the time I was very surprised by the response, but looking back on it I just chuckle. That property is still vacant, BTW, which means it’s been empty for at least 21 months. But what’s two years when the property has been in your family for centuries?
This kind of thing will seem bizarre to most of us from first world economies, where assets have values and most anything can be purchased. Many things here in Guate are for sale, but the theoretical sale price is not really a reflection of what it can be bought for, instead, it’s self-flattery by the owner. The property is not really for sale, but it’s neat to tell your fellow Chapines your property is on the market for $750,000 or is listed for rent at $1,500 per month.
If you’re still struggling to understand this concept, keep in mind that Guatemaltecos use real estate like we use banks. They don’t trust banks, so they put their money in land. I’ve met Chapines who don’t have a job or a car or any cash but they own land scattered around the country and they feel great about it. They’re rich, in fact. Half-built houses dot the landscape and their owners brag about having a house in Antigua (or fill in the town).
I’ve tried to explain the economic value of liquidity to some locals and they just look at me puzzled. I think they’re insulted that the land could actually be converted to plain old currency, as if like a Milky Way it could actually be valued just in mere Quetzal terms. ”That’s what’s wrong with you Gringos”, comes to mind.
So owners of real estate don’t like to sell the property, which means that property develops an artificial scarcity. This drives prices higher. Other owners sense the scarcity and place outrageous asking prices on their property, which causes other owners to interpret the asking price as a comparable and leads to them asking far too much for their own property. And if a local does pay an outrageous price, they brag about it. Witness a recent conversation I was party to:
Chapin #1: Wow, that’s an incredible TV, how big is it?
Chapin #2: It’s 57 inches, I bought it at PriceSmart for Q40,000.
Chapin #1: Wow, that’s amazing.
DM: Excuse me, but I saw that TV at PriceSmart and it’s Q15,000….
Chapin #2: Yeah, but don’t tell Chapin #1 that….
DM: Weird, in the US we brag about getting a deal, not paying a lot.
Chapin #2: Don Marco, you’re not in Phoenix anymore.
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“Dude, That’s Toxic!”
Posted by: | CommentsSantiago and I were looking at an office a few days ago and commented to the owner that the large pile of rubble and trash in the front courtyard was really unsightly and that the house would show better if he were to clean things up. He nodded like he understood, and disappeared out the front door while we were wandering out the house, trying to envision how things would work if we took the place.
I was standing in one of the back rooms, stepping off the dimensions to see if it would accommodate an executive desk and sitting area worthy of someone known as a ‘Don’, when the most acrid smell overwhelmed me. Not having had any emergency digestive problems since my trip to Monterrico and the huge bowl of ceviche I ate, I thought something must be on fire. As I walked towards the front of the house, the smoke and toxicity got much worse, and I could hear Santiago screaming obscenities.
There in front of the house the owner had directed some lurker to pile all the leftover construction stuff, all the trash and anything else lying around and had started a fire, which was really going. The smoke coming off it was multi-colored and the fumes were sickening. Even Santiago with his four pack a day lungs seemed to be effected by the mess and was yelling at the guy that the fire was “toxic” and that this was “ridiculous”.
As I was fashioning my handkerchiefs(thoughtfully brought by a mule last December and normally reserved for little boy noses or female tears), around my face, the guy stoking the fire responded to Santiago in the most amusing fashion, “Si, es muy toxico” and continued to throw more plastic trash and buckets half-full of unknown chemicals. Santiago looked at me as if to make sure I was seeing the same thing he was.
I had a little flashback to the guys working in the finca next door who were burning huge piles of rubbish at the base of my back wall, doing everything they could to stay upwind without thinking anything of the smoke filling my house, and ignoring my pleas to cease “por que es muy malo para mi ninos”.
I realized immediately that so many of the uneducated people here are basically like children, intuitive enough to realize the danger and threat to their health, but not aware enough to consider that their actions can be detrimental to others.
Santiago had now stopped making observations and began giving orders:
Santiago: Put this fire out, immediately!
Hombre: El dueño me dijo que me queme toda la basura.
Santiago: I’m telling you to put it out, muy rapido!
Hombre: Está bien, pero yo no tengo una manguera …
Santiago: Take one of these buckets and fill it up with water!
Hombre: Muy bien, ¿sabes dónde está el agua?
Santiago: Probably in the pila.
Hombre: Bueno, eso es una buena idea.
Needless to say we didn’t rent the space.
Funny Conversation
Posted by: | CommentsMe: Hello?
Unidentified Female: Si es usted el gringo que estaba buscando en mi casa?
Me: Uh…I don’t know, but don’t you think that’s kind of rude?
Unidentified Female: Lo sentimos, pero es usted el que estaba buscando en mi casa?
Me: I’ve been looking at a lot of houses.
Unidentified Female: Vino con otro gringo y un licensiado…
Me: Yeah, we’re looking for office space together, and the commisionista is showing us offices. Are you the lady with the house painted all blue on the inside, with the tin roof, rotting ceilings and ugly floors?
Unidentified Female: Sí, tengo la casa que fue una escuela antes de que. Vas a alquilarlo?
Me: I’ll talk to the commisonista about that.
Unidentified Female: No, quiero saber.
Me: I’m sorry, I don’t do business that way.
Unidentified Female: Usted tiene mal carácter…
Me: You know, I think I’ve decided…
Unidentified Female: Vas a alquilarlo?
Me: No, gracias. Feliz dia.
Carrying a firearm in cold weather requires some preparation; in addition to safety, failing to access your weapon quickly can be the difference between a successful hunting trip and returning empty handed, or a successful defense against an assailant and serious injury. With a few additional steps, it is possible to carry and use a firearm while remaining warm.
When your hands get cold, they get numb, reducing your sensory feedback, and if you put gloves on, you also lose a sense of feel, which can leave you clumsy or ineffective when handling your firearm. Nothing is more important than being able to access and use your weapon quickly, whether you’re in a self-defense situation or hunting, so let’s discuss a few solutions learned from years of carrying firearms in cold weather.
Let’s discuss solutions allowing comfort and the ability to get that shot off quickly.
- I have used the old woodsman’s trick; cutting a thin slit lengthwise in my glove for my trigger finger to sneak through. One drawback you should be aware of; grabbing a snowy branch, or braking a fall may give you a glove full of snow or ice, which I can promise is not fun.
- It’s not pretty, but using skateboard tape on your weapons will give you a non-slip, durable surface. Even with thick gloves on you’ll find the firearm easy to hold on to.
- If you have several firearms, you should consider designating one of them as your ‘cold weather’ weapon, and modify the trigger pull to be much heavier. This will compensate for the lack of feel you’ll experience when wearing gloves.
- Currently I wear thin poly “wicker” gloves under warm mittens allowing me to slide/fling the mittens as needed still providing some hand protection. Make sure the mitten, or outer layer of glove, can be easily ‘flung’ off your hand.
- Another method is Nomex flying gloves inside of a shooting mitten (mitten with a velcroed opening in the palm) allowing you to free your fingers when required.
There are other challenge when carrying a weapon in cold weather beyond simply keeping your hands warm and maintaining a sure grip. If you fall and get snow or ice in the muzzle, your accuracy will be severely degrade and your weapon could even malfunction. A few old tricks to keeping the barrel clean include:
1. Placing a little masking tape over the end of the barrell
2. a condom with a rubber band
3. A band aid placed over the muzzle
When hunting with handguns carry your gun under your coat, protecting it from the elements. Cross draw holsters work well with long coats, allowing quick access. If you prefer shoulder holsters, fasten your outer coat to just below the pectoral muscles. The upper portion will stay open allowing you immediate access to your weapon. Keeping your weapon inside an outer coat like this will protect the firearm in the event you take a tumble, which happens if you’re wandering around in snow and ice.
You can modify your coat with pass-through slits providing instant access to your gun. In really bad weather I prefer carrying “beaters” – true rough duty guns, not “safe queen” guns –allowing me to worry more about the deer in the thicket or the gang-banger lingering in the dark corner rather than my gun rusting.
Lubricants will thicken in extremely cold temperatures, which could lead to a misfire, and believe me, if you’ve pulled the gun and attempted to fire, the worst that can happen is not get the shot off. To prevent this you can use graphite, thin watch oil, or a synthetic lubricant as these do not freeze or attract dust. I prefer the synthetic lubricants myself.
If you are carrying additional magazines, keep these inside your pockets to prevent misfires; magazines kept on the outside of your clothing will naturally attract more debris.
Once you have decided which methods you will use in cold weather, practice! Don’t just go to the gun range when it’s sunny and warm, go when it’s cold and nasty. See which clothes work for you and how your setup works. I suggest you try with empty firearms first, and after you’ve gotten your holstering and ‘draw’ perfected in your cold weather gear, then add your ammo.
Finally, add your gloves to the process and see how things work (or don’t work, as it might be). If the gloves are a problem, get rid of them! Gloves are cheap compared to your firearm-or your life-so go shopping for two layers that will work for you, the thin, inner layer that you can use in mild weather, and the thicker, outer layer of gloves that you can discard quickly when the time arrives.
“Dad, I Think the House is On Fire”
Posted by: | CommentsIt was a gorgeous day last Saturday, in the mid 70s, sunny and with a light breeze. I was dealing with some car repair issues and called home to check on things.
I found it hard to believe the house was really on fire given the house is made from concrete and tile, and when the Wife got on the phone she explained that the finca next door was burning stuff and the house was covered in smoke.
I thought she might be exaggerating, but on my way home I could see the cloud of smoke enveloping the neighborhood from more than a mile away. Naturally all of the windows in the house had been open to take advantage of the perfect weather, which meant now the entire house was filled with smoke. I arrived home to find children coughing, crying, everyone with articles of clothes tied around their faces, and the smoke just hanging in the air.
My original thought was that it would have been better to leave all of the windows open, hoping the wind would carry it through, but the density of the smoke was such that it was unbearable, so they had closed all of the windows. This kept most of the smoke out but also meant that all of the smoke that had stayed in was trapped.
I climbed on to the roof to evaluate, and sure enough, workers on the finca which adjoins our property were burning huge piles of the leftovers from their recent harvest. One fire was literally at the base of our wall, another was about 10 meters away, and the third closest was only 20 meters away, and the wind was carrying the smoke right across our back wall, into our patio and into the house.
I yelled at the workers to move their fires away from the house, explaining that it was not safe and that my family was getting sick of the fire. I observed that they all were standing up wind of their fires and hand their faces covered with cloth. They talked amongst themselves for a moment and then resumed. I thought about telling them I would call the police, but realized they would see right through that and know I didn’t have a clue how things work here.
The roof afforded the cleanest air for hundreds of yards so I contemplated my options. What I really wanted to do was hook the hose up and drag it to the roof and spray the fires from the roof. After calculating the distance, I realized my hoses aren’t long enough to reach up to the roof and be of use on any but maybe the closest fire.
My next thought was to arm myself and the teenager with machetes and approach the fires with buckets of water and rakes and hoes, to dampen and then spread them. I thought for sure my action would send the workers running, and that whoever they brought back might listen to reason.
The longer I remained on the the more bizarre the ideas got, evidence of the effect the smoke was having on my thinking process. My final strategy was to buy boombas across the street and shoot them from the roof down onto the workers, hoping they would scatter.
In the end, I abandoned my plans to adapt to a GuateApproach to the problem and instead chose the passive, gringo approach, opened every window in the house and put the family in the van and left for the day. When we returned 8 hours later, the fires were out, the skies were clear again and the house was mostly smoke-free. Of course, all the clothes, beds, linens and furniture smelled like smoke, and we still had red eyes, coughing and sore throats.
As readers know, I’ve got a collection of real estate stories, but one lesson I never thought of before now was to make sure you don’t rent or buy next to a finca, or you’ll be dealing with these occasional, unannounced fires and smoke that will ruin your day, threaten your house, and cause all your friends to think you’ve suddenly taken up an extraordinary smoking habit.
Another Real Estate Story
Posted by: | CommentsBusiness is booming in Antigua (at least for me), and with all the projects I’m involved in I decided it was time to move out of the bedroom office and into a real office space where I could meet people and have a functioning staff. Another local businessman and I have been looking around at office space in Antigua proper and we found a perfect office for our needs, a four bedroom condo type home on one of the main streets of Antigua with a perfect entryway area to function as a reception area, a small kitchen and patio.
The real estate agent showing us the property had told us the owner was asking $1000 but that the house could be rented for $750 on a two year contract. So, we offered $750 for three years, seeing in the longer-term contract greater value for the owner, given the current economic conditions. (I know, very naive of me).
The owner wasn’t impressed, and countered with saying her rent was actually $1000 a month, plus IVA, some sort of tax which adds up to 12% and which every agent tells me is never paid or collected.
So we increased our offer to $850 a month for three years, and explained to the owner that she was unlikely to rent this particular house to a family due to the traffic noise on the street, the lack of parking, the lack of hot water in the building, and that the distance from the park made it not as desirable as some other currently vacant properties on the market. We also pointed out that the house would need some clean-up and painting, and that we would take care of those.
After initially claiming that she’d be better off just selling it (good luck), she agreed to $900 per month for two years and 11 months. Apparently she wanted to avoid a three year contract. We told our agent we could agree to the terms and to put things in motion.
Well, I wish I could say I was shocked by what happened next, but that would be an overstatement. I was only mildly surprised when the agent reported back that the owner’s new offer was $1000 plus the 12% tax.
Let’s set aside the rather questionable negotiating strategy of dropping the price and then raising it or the threat to just sell the house instead of renting it; this is a dirty house on a loud street in Antigua without hot water that has a setup that would only work for a small number of commercial clients, and in the middle of a 30% drop in tourism and 40% drop in remittances and with vacant properties all over town that have been vacant since I moved here. Despite all this, the owner has decide to increase her asking price after someone shows interest.
So, let me share with you how I will handle this situation. I will now go to another real estate agent and have them indicate interest in the property in about a week’s time. My offer will be $550 a month for one year. This offer will be insulting to the owner and will call to mind the very reasonable offer she had from the other interested party. It will also be a signal to the listing agent that the property can be rented, but not at the current offering price.
I’ll keep you posted.
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