Archive for The Maid
Ladron en La Casa
Posted by: | CommentsA while back, I posted that our laundry detergent and a bottle of fabric softener had gone missing. Some of you suggested it might have been taken and to tell you the truth, I didn’t want to think about it because that would most likely mean it was our maid that was stealing. She has been absolutely amazing with the boys and we have had very few problems with her, so I really, really didn’t want to consider that as a possibility.
The Monday after I was frantically looking for the laundry stuff and after Irving had called her at home to ask if she’d seen it, our maid miraculously discovered the laundry soap at the bottom of a laundry basket that both Irving and I had checked. It was odd, but I thought maybe we’d just looked too quickly and missed it. The fabric softener didn’t turn up at all.
Then Irving got a call to go play a gig and when he went to iron his shirt . . . no iron. Anywhere. He went and scoured his family’s house because they have a tendency to borrow it. But they had two new irons and he couldn’t find ours anywhere. The maid said she hadn’t seen it in months . . . which could easily be true since we haven’t used it in ages.
And now, over the past week….
Don Marco, It’s Raining Really Hard, Should I Come to Work Today?
Posted by: | CommentsThe other day I got the strangest call, Maid #6 on the phone 10 minutes after 8 (her normal start time) telling me that it was raining really hard and asking if she was supposed to come to work that day.
Granted, I may have missed some detail here or there, but I wanted to say, “Are you planning to work the next six months?”, instead I simply said, “Fijese, today is a normal work day and you are already late.”
A few minutes later Maid #7 called (they are sisters, BTW), and said, “Disculpe Don Marco, I can’t come to work today because it’s raining so hard, I’ll come in early on Monday”. Yeah, well, she’s going to have to come in awfully early considering she had already promised to start four hours early for another day she missed and now she’s another eight hours behind.
When I was at the lake recently a friend commented that I was overpaying (Q1600 a month plus 5Q daily for the bus), and that my Maid would naturally see that generosity as a reason to take advantage of me on other fronts.
Every time I think I’m getting ahead, GuateLiving pulls me back in.
La Senora de la Tienda
Posted by: | CommentsReaders may remember past issues we’ve had with tiendas. Some time ago I issued a decree, “Thou shalt not engage in commerce with the tienda woman”, which the children were commanded to obey. Of course, within days the Wife was flexing her muscles by sending the children to the tienda when I wasn’t around. So we reached an agreement; Since Maid #6 or #7 are here from 8am to 8pm six days a week, one of them can always go instead of the children, increasing the likelihood that we’ll pay less than a 300% markup for whatever item is required.
Well, Maid #6 is a pushover and so she paid whatever the tienda woman charged, only bothering to comment upon her return with the luxury items such as an egg or a Coke that it was ‘muy carro’. I observed that Maid #7, who is a little older and probably carries a 20% higher IQ, might do better with the tienda woman, so she became the new tienda mule.
It didn’t take long to get some feedback. After the first trip, Maid #7 reported that the prices were very high, and she had negotiated a few things down and saved us like 4Q on a 15Q purchase. After the next visit, however, she returned empty handed, saying that the woman was charging too much.
Last Saturday night, in the midst of the rain and the wind, I sent one of the boys up the street to buy some Coke and a few treats for the kids, anything to keep them occupied since we had no electricity. The kid returned saying, “The tienda woman says that she will never sell to our Maid again, because she disrespected her”.
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Paid Time Off for the Maid
Posted by: | CommentsYesterday Maid #6 asked us what our schedule was for the holidays. I asked Santiago what the normal routine is for paid time off for domestic help. Here was his reply:
We give the maid half a day off on Thursday, and all of Friday off. You can require her to come to work on Saturday but we give her that day off as well, because she’s worked for us for so many years.
We like Maid #6 and so I was inclined to follow their example. This equates to about 16 hours of paid time off. Maid #7 has a slightly different work schedule, and so a comparable approach would have rewarded her with 20 hours off. Sure, we’re only talking about a difference of about 40Q here, but I’ve learned not to look at it that way and instead approach it from the standpoint of following the example set by those who say, “I know my people”.
So I told Maid #7 that she could work half the day on Thursday, take Friday off, and work half of her normal shift on Saturday. She’s been working for us for about 4 months now so I thought my offer was reasonable. She responded by saying she wouldn’t be working again until Monday, in other words, she was taking off Thursday, Friday and Saturday, or three full shifts.
She went on to explain that her other job, the one she works on Sundays, the only day she’s not here, requires that she work on days that are otherwise holidays for the standard shift. I remember when we hired her that she mentioned she worked on Sundays and holidays for this other company-I think they make boots-but it struck me as odd that she works full time for me and works one day a week for these guys and the other job is more important to her. Maybe it has a higher hourly wage, maybe she figures I’ll be gone eventually, but in comparison to Maid #6’s “Disculpe, Don Marco, que necessito?”, Maid #7 simply told me what the schedule would be. Maybe she wasn’t expecting that I would pay her for this time off.
What do you think? How should I have handled it?
Donde esta la camioneta?
Posted by: | CommentsThe toddler was waiting for Maid #6 this morning as he always does, and she didn’t show up at the normal time (8am). One of the other neighborhood maids walked by and explained that there were no buses today and so our maid probably wouldn’t come to work. I was puzzled by that and surprised/bothered that if there wasn’t bus service today that our Maid wouldn’t call to explain she would be late.
Well, she did arrive an hour later and explained that there is no bus service in Antigua today because all the buses “are in the capital”. The Wife couldn’t get any better explanation from her on what that meant.
Now, for newbies, you can’t accept this kind of behavior from your maid. I’m going to have to talk to the Maid and explain that it is her job to be here on time, whether her normal mode of transportation is available or not. Further, she must call if she knows she’s going to be late. (She has never once called, since that would require 2Q of saldo, although she did send her husband over here on a bike one time).
Sure, I know that she usually uses the bus to get here, and it might not be available today, whether that situation was foreseen or not, but as Santiago would say, “That’s not my problem”.
We already pay better than most, feed better than most, and generally treat our employees like we would if we were their employer in the US. It’s a mistake to be a softy and feel sorry for them because eventually they won’t respect you and once that’s gone, you’ve lost.
Update: Monica sent a link explaining that bus service around the region has been disrupted.
http://www.prensalibre.com/noticias/sucesos/Paro-autobuses-impacta-provincia_0_229777156.html
Update 2: It seems the bus drivers from around the country are on strike, looking for the government to provide more modernization and reduce taxation. Apparently the buses all drove to the city to clog up the streets. Strikes have always seemed to me to be little more than blackmail via mob; if you’re not being paid what you think is a fair wage, then quit and go work for someone who pays more. If your employer can hire someone else to replace you, then wages are appropriate, if not, he will have to raise wages.
Maid #6
Posted by: | CommentsSome of you have been complaining that I’m not sharing Maid stories any more, and the truth is I don’t have many to share. We figured things out with Maids #1-5 and so now we have a fabulous young woman and we just don’t have those kinds of stories to share.
Well, until a few weeks ago. Maid #6 has been on time every day and hadn’t missed a day of work. In the middle of the day she took a phone call and got very animated on the phone. Apparently one of her two children had been taken to the hospital earlier in the day and the medicine the Doctor prescribed was going to be 300Q.
Our Maid is one of the better paid maids in town, but even at 1600Q a month they obviously don’t have any emergency savings. She asked to borrow the 300Q and said we could take it out of her paycheck. She also asked to leave right away. The Wife gave her the 300Q and told her to go to see her baby.
The next day she arrived on time and asked if she would be able to make up her hours at some point. We said no problem, and took the 300Q out of her next paycheck.
About two weeks later, she came to me with a long story involving lots of ‘fijese’ and obviously wanted some money. I told her to go talk to The Wife for two reasons; first, I want the Maid to understand she works for The Wife, even if she knows I am giving The Wife the money. (Don’t you FemiNazis think I control all the money; The Wife and I own everything jointly, it’s just that the job of hitting the ATM every other day falls to me). The second reason is that I couldn’t quite figure out what she was asking the money for and don’t really need any more drama in my life.
It turns out the Maid got a new floor for her house and needed 600Q to pay for it. I didn’t get all of the details from The Wife, but apparently the Maid’s husband’s friend had installed it for them and done the job cheaply as a favor but they really needed to get him some money. Now, perhaps this floor was an emergency of some sort and we didn’t get the details, but I was a little reluctant to loan the money when it was a household improvement and not a life or death hospital situation.
However, The Wife really likes the Maid and pointed out that the 600Q was less than two weeks pay and that she had effectively already earned half that and so she gave her the money. I really have no complaints about Maid #6, except I’m worried that the lending could become a habit; let’s face it, when you make 1800Q a month you’re always going to need money, and when you know that your Patron gives you money whenever you ask for it, it’s a temptation.
Last week Maid #6 got a phone call from her mother saying that one of her children had been taken to the hospital. She didn’t share many details but asked to leave and ran out of the house in a hurry. I suspect she would have asked for money but hasn’t paid off the 600Q for the new floor.
The next morning she didn’t show up for work, instead, her older sister showed up about 8:30am and offered to work that day in her sister’s place. On the one hand I was irritated Maid #6 didn’t bother to spend the 1Q to call me (or even try GuateCalling), but instead sent her sister to the house, with the explanation that she was at the hospital with her baby. On the other hand I was impressed as could be that she sent the sister and the sister actually showed up.
Of course, I want her to take care of her baby. I know how often my schedule is disrupted by unpredictable children, and Maid #6 has so far made up any hours and repaid any money she’s borrowed. However, after six months I’m starting to get the feeling that we’re slowly, gradually, slipping. Santiago tells me you simply can’t give an inch or you’re going to be dealing with new requests and changing rules all the time, and that the Maid wouldn’t treat a Chapin Patron this way.
What do you veterans think?
Doing Nothing Can Be a Full Time Job
Posted by: | CommentsThe other morning Santiago called me around 11am and must have heard the frustration in my voice because he asked, “Busy morning?”
I wasn’t sure how to respond. You see, I hadn’t really gotten anything done, or rather, nothing that I had hoped, and yet here it was fully six hours after I had been awakened by a kid taping on my shoulder saying, “Someone went to the potty but missed”.
So I told Santiago how about the incident in the boys’ bathroom that reminded me of Chernobyl and that I was going to need some more Cipro.
Then the Wife reminded me, for maybe the 200th time, that the washing machine which was picked up a week ago to be repaired, and which was to be returned 5 days ago and I now considered officially MIA, was still missing. I actually didn’t need reminding, since I had been wearing the same pair of underwear for three days, something I hadn’t done since that time near Yongsan, Korea when I got on the wrong bus. On-yong-ha-say-oh, senor.
Anyway, the guy who I bought the washer from, and who has rebuilt it now twice in 11 months, had not returned it as agreed, had not called, and was not answering the phone. When you do 5 loads a day you can imagine how the logistics on that were working out. Taking it to the laundry in Antigua would seem like a reasonable solution, except the last time I did that all the laundry came back looking like it had been left out in the Phoenix sun for a month.
My method for resolving that situation was to call a mutual friend and say that I knew where he (the repairman), lived and that I wanted the washer back by noon, or else. He stuttered and promised to call me back. A short time later he called to say that the washer had been fixed five days ago, but the repairman’s truck was broken down, and he didn’t have the Q to pay someone else to deliver it.
Now, I can’t imagine taking someone’s property under obligation of fixing it, completing the repair, and then not returning it, and not even calling to explain the dilemma to El Patron. But that’s par for the course in Guate. So I told the mutual friend that I would pay for the truck to deliver the washer so long as it was delivered in working order within two hours. He mumbled something and hung up.
Next up was the Maid. Maid #6 has worked out very well and, most importantly, shows the appropriate degree of respect to the Wife. The Maid could be Maria Poppina but if she disrespects the Wife, nobody’s happy, right? But, for whatever reason, this morning the Maid needed to speak with me. As it turns out, she had just heard from her mother and her baby was sick and she wanted to leave.
Well, if a mother’s kid is sick, she has to go. But of course, there was more to the story. She wanted to borrow money to pay for the hospital, specifically, she wanted 300Q. Maybe I misunderstand the way the national socialist medical program here works, but I thought it was free. Oh well, she’s been a good Maid and had 800Q coming in a few days anyway, so if I loan her 300Q and she never comes back, I’m okay. She gets the 300Q and she leaves for the day.
I return to my cave office and think I’m going to be able to settle in for awhile when there’s a kid at the door announcing that someone is at the front gate asking for ‘Don Michael’. I go to the door to discover that it’s the appliance repairmen who have our oven, which had previously refused to heat to more than 219F. It’s tough to cook pizza at 219F, by the way. They had worked on it for a few days, not found any problems at all, and want to install the oven, turn it on and prove to me that it’s working.
A few minutes later, the Spanish teacher arrives and must speak with me that very moment about an urgent matter. Apparently the Wife and children all performed superbly on their recent Spanish tests, so well in fact, that the teacher was perplexed on how to award the prizes that he had decided I would be buying for them.
My response is, no doubt, the same as yours would have been, “Well, if they all did so well, your test obviously wasn’t hard enough. Give the test again with much more difficult questions and then I’ll decide what I want to give to the winner. Anything higher than an 80 means you’re not doing your job”. He didn’t like that answer but agreed to a retest. The Wife scored highest, which means we’re having Don Marco’s Special Homemade Grilled Cheese Sandwiches and Tomato Soup for dinner.
On the way back to my cave, the Wife stops me. She needs money. Apparently it’s market day and our friends at Dona Chica are calling to ask if we want our normal delivery of 300Q worth of Antigua’s finest fruits and vegetables.
Me: Sure, here’s 300Q.
Wife: But I might order some meat, so I’ll need more.
Me: Okay, how much do you want?
Wife: I don’t know.
Me: Well, do you need 100Q, 500Q, what?
Wife: Yeah, something like that.
Me: Okay, here’s 200Q.
I start to continue up the stairs and then the Wife stops me:
Wife: …and I need to send Maid #6 to the bodegona for some things…
Me: Okay, how much do you need?
Wife: Well, how long should I buy for?
Me: I don’t know, what do you want?
Wife: I guess a day or two worth of stuff.
Me: Okay, so that’s about 600Q, right?
Wife: Well, except that we’re out of a lot of things…
Me: Okay, so how much do you need?
Wife: I don’t know, let me make a list…
Then the phone rings, it’s a kid from the front door announcing that there is a truck here with the washing machine, and “Can I let them in, they look really mean?” So it’s down to the front gate to unlock and let the guys in. They get the machine hooked up, it works, and once I hand over the 60Q they’re gone.
I’m stopped as I try to sneak back to my cave by one of the four repairmen who are watching the oven slowly heat up. He wants to show me that the oven is now at 470F, higher than I’ve ever seen it and pretty impressive. He explains that the problem is probably that my Wife was running all the burners on the stove (there are five) at the same time as she was running the broiler and the oven, and that was the problem with the heat.
I smile and explain as best I can that we’ve never run all five burners and the broiler and oven at the same time, but if the oven is heating, then I’m happy. He tries to collect the 875Q he charged for not fixing anything even though we both know my landlord has already paid, but leaves happy when I tell him he’s done an excellent job and is very kind.
About that time the ‘fish guy’ shows up. This is the guy who brings fish and shrimp from Esquintla twice a week. I’m reminded that I had intended to teach Maid #4 what I wanted, but of course, she’s gone and the kids aren’t allowed outside alone and the Wife refuses to use her Spanish, so I’ve got to go talk to the fish guy.
Me: Buenos dias, tiene camarones, atún y dorado?
Fish Guy: Sí, tengo también el atún.
Me: Muy bien, cuanto questa para dos libras de atún?
Fish Guy: Para usted Don Marco, un precio especial sobre el atún, sólo 45Q por libra.
Me: Hmm, que suena como el precio de gringo.
Fish Guy: No, nunca.
Me: Bueno, yo llevo dos libras de atún, dos libras de el dorado, una libra de camarones.
Fish Guy: Yo también le trajo algunos cangrejos.
Me: Wow, que tiene actualmente el cangrejo?
Fish Guy: Sí, todavía están vivos y dispuestos para usted.
Me: Bueno, yo también caída de estos en agua hirviendo o algo antes de congelarlos?
Fish Guy: No, solo hay que echarlo en el congelador, su sabor es mejor así.
Me: Bueno, así que ¿cuánto le debo?
Fish Guy: ¿Cuánto quiere pagar?
Me: Dame el pescado. Aquí está 200Q.
As I make it back up to the office, the phone rings, and it’s Santiago. “Busy?”, he asks. “I don’t know, I’ve been busy all morning but I haven’t done anything. I thought when I first visited Antigua that I would spend my time sitting in the sun, smoking a cigar, philosophizing about things, calling to some hot Latina to bring me another drink or rub my shoulders, but I seem to spend all my time trying to manage my ever-growing crew so the house won’t fall apart around me.”
That’s when he delivers the line, “Yeah dude, living in Guatemala, doing nothing can be a full time job.”
No doubt.
Update on Maid #4
Posted by: | CommentsThe last chapter in this little drama was Maid #4 asking for 2,000Q as severance pay for her 3 hour a day job that paid 800Q a month. Readers will remember that I took some steps to determine what the ’spirit of the law’ was. After all, I believe that civil laws are binding on men unless they are opposed to divine law, so no matter how ludicrous it might seem, I try to do the ‘right’ thing when possible. Most of the time.
My lawyer said I owed her 800Q and the consensus among friends was that this was ‘reasonable’. So I offered her the 800Q payment less the 300Q which I had loaned her. Her response was 2000Q.
I actually spent some time thinking about this and my initial inclination was to negotiate, perhaps to offer 1000Q and she if she started working her way down. But when the Wife found out about all this, she was furious. Apparently the anger had been building for all those months, with her being disrespected, the Maid showing up late and leaving early, and always taking a doggie-bag home after dinner. The idea that we would pay anything more than we had to was really offensive to her. In fact, I’m pretty sure I was guilty for a) having let the Maid behave in this way and b) Being willing to pay anything at all.
I apprised Santiago of the updated status and he said, “Don’t budge. If she wants to take you to court it will take her months, she’ll have to hire an attorney, and I’ll go with you so we can give them hell together”. That didn’t sound like my idea of fun, but I figured I would learn something in the process. Most importantly, I knew that Maid #4 needed the money because she was calling daily, sometimes 3-4 times a day, asking where her money was.
To use money as leverage against a poor person is offensive to me on the surface, but I thought I was being reasonable with my offer and willingness to comply. If the attorney had said I owed her 2,000Q, I would have paid. If it was 4,000Q, I would pay. As it is, I held my ground at 800Q.
One of the negotiating secrets I learned doing private equity deals was that you can often times close a deal just by putting the money on the table with the contract. When people see a check for $10 million on the table in front of them and it’s just a signature away, sometimes the details get resolved quickly. In my business we would often work for months, sometimes a year, to get a deal done, only to have one party playing hard to get over some little detail. Cash on the table plus a contract usually wins.
I did that once buying a car too, by taking stacks of $100 bills to the owner’s house and offering an immediate, cash, discounted price. People can’t stand to have money just sitting on the table in front of them and contemplate it walking away.
I phoned Maid #4 and told her I had the document ready for her to sign and the 500Q in cash and that I would meet her. She repeated her demand for 2,000Q but said she would be at the office at 9am the next day. We decided to meet at a friend’s office rather than the attorney’s so she wouldn’t be intimidated by the attorney. I thought it was possible she would show up with an attorney, friend, family member, accountant, or possibly the whole neighborhood, but I was committed only to getting her signature and handing the 500Q, not a renegotiation.
So, the next morning I’m at the office at the appointed time. After 20 minutes she had not arrived, so I left the contract and the money with my friend and said, “If she ever shows up, get a copy of her cedula and her signature before you give her the money”.
Well, later that day I get a call from my friend who says, “The woman is here but she doesn’t want to give us a copy of her cedula. She does want the money”.
That’s an easy one folks, because as we had already learned this woman had four or five different names and had given us different names over the course of the negotiations, so I didn’t want to risk paying 500Q and having her come back with a different name later to ask for more. The lawyer was VERY insistent about this, so much so that I figured it was a point I probably shouldn’t challenge. Apparently she didn’t want to give a copy of her cedula, so I hung up.
In the end she signed, gave us a copy of her cedula and took the money, and I’ve not heard from her since.
Lessons learned:
1. You must have a contract with your employee. The contract should specify their duties, hours, and wages.
2. You’ll need to pay minimum wage (1,000Q) otherwise you’re open to being taken to the labor department. It doesn’t matter that your maid only works 3 hours a week, the law says she’s entitled to minimum wage. Of course, if you’re like the wealthy Guatemalans, just pay her 1,000Q a month and make her work 12 hours a day, 7 days a week. Apparently that’s just fine.
3. You’ll need to build their bona catorce, Christmas bonus and severance pay into their paycheck so that you don’t have to worry about doing all that down the road and have it be a big surprise.
4. You must have receipts for every payment you make. The receipt should specify not only that they received the money, but that the money represents all the pay they are entitled to for that pay period. You don’t want it to be your word against hers, because you are a Devil from the North and we all know your word is worthless.
5. Don’t loan money, or at least not beyond the current paycheck. This might be hard if you’re a charitable person, but I’ve learned they will take advantage of you, see you as weak, and otherwise abuse you. I’ve already loaned money to Maid #6 in violation of this rule, but I took it out of the very next paycheck and made sure she understood this couldn’t be a regular thing.
6. If trouble is brewing, get “lawyered up” real quick. Litigation is a business weapon in the states, and you have to look at it the same way here. The other side will have to go through the effort and expense to retain counsel, which drives up the cost for them as well. If your pockets are deeper, you have the advantage, and since your employee has every other advantage on you, you need everything you can get. Time and money are your only self-defense options.
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