Archive for The Maid
Maid #6
Posted by: | CommentsSome of you have been complaining that I’m not sharing Maid stories any more, and the truth is I don’t have many to share. We figured things out with Maids #1-5 and so now we have a fabulous young woman and we just don’t have those kinds of stories to share.
Well, until a few weeks ago. Maid #6 has been on time every day and hadn’t missed a day of work. In the middle of the day she took a phone call and got very animated on the phone. Apparently one of her two children had been taken to the hospital earlier in the day and the medicine the Doctor prescribed was going to be 300Q.
Our Maid is one of the better paid maids in town, but even at 1600Q a month they obviously don’t have any emergency savings. She asked to borrow the 300Q and said we could take it out of her paycheck. She also asked to leave right away. The Wife gave her the 300Q and told her to go to see her baby.
The next day she arrived on time and asked if she would be able to make up her hours at some point. We said no problem, and took the 300Q out of her next paycheck.
About two weeks later, she came to me with a long story involving lots of ‘fijese’ and obviously wanted some money. I told her to go talk to The Wife for two reasons; first, I want the Maid to understand she works for The Wife, even if she knows I am giving The Wife the money. (Don’t you FemiNazis think I control all the money; The Wife and I own everything jointly, it’s just that the job of hitting the ATM every other day falls to me). The second reason is that I couldn’t quite figure out what she was asking the money for and don’t really need any more drama in my life.
It turns out the Maid got a new floor for her house and needed 600Q to pay for it. I didn’t get all of the details from The Wife, but apparently the Maid’s husband’s friend had installed it for them and done the job cheaply as a favor but they really needed to get him some money. Now, perhaps this floor was an emergency of some sort and we didn’t get the details, but I was a little reluctant to loan the money when it was a household improvement and not a life or death hospital situation.
However, The Wife really likes the Maid and pointed out that the 600Q was less than two weeks pay and that she had effectively already earned half that and so she gave her the money. I really have no complaints about Maid #6, except I’m worried that the lending could become a habit; let’s face it, when you make 1800Q a month you’re always going to need money, and when you know that your Patron gives you money whenever you ask for it, it’s a temptation.
Last week Maid #6 got a phone call from her mother saying that one of her children had been taken to the hospital. She didn’t share many details but asked to leave and ran out of the house in a hurry. I suspect she would have asked for money but hasn’t paid off the 600Q for the new floor.
The next morning she didn’t show up for work, instead, her older sister showed up about 8:30am and offered to work that day in her sister’s place. On the one hand I was irritated Maid #6 didn’t bother to spend the 1Q to call me (or even try GuateCalling), but instead sent her sister to the house, with the explanation that she was at the hospital with her baby. On the other hand I was impressed as could be that she sent the sister and the sister actually showed up.
Of course, I want her to take care of her baby. I know how often my schedule is disrupted by unpredictable children, and Maid #6 has so far made up any hours and repaid any money she’s borrowed. However, after six months I’m starting to get the feeling that we’re slowly, gradually, slipping. Santiago tells me you simply can’t give an inch or you’re going to be dealing with new requests and changing rules all the time, and that the Maid wouldn’t treat a Chapin Patron this way.
What do you veterans think?
Doing Nothing Can Be a Full Time Job
Posted by: | CommentsThe other morning Santiago called me around 11am and must have heard the frustration in my voice because he asked, “Busy morning?”
I wasn’t sure how to respond. You see, I hadn’t really gotten anything done, or rather, nothing that I had hoped, and yet here it was fully six hours after I had been awakened by a kid taping on my shoulder saying, “Someone went to the potty but missed”.
So I told Santiago how about the incident in the boys’ bathroom that reminded me of Chernobyl and that I was going to need some more Cipro.
Then the Wife reminded me, for maybe the 200th time, that the washing machine which was picked up a week ago to be repaired, and which was to be returned 5 days ago and I now considered officially MIA, was still missing. I actually didn’t need reminding, since I had been wearing the same pair of underwear for three days, something I hadn’t done since that time near Yongsan, Korea when I got on the wrong bus. On-yong-ha-say-oh, senor.
Anyway, the guy who I bought the washer from, and who has rebuilt it now twice in 11 months, had not returned it as agreed, had not called, and was not answering the phone. When you do 5 loads a day you can imagine how the logistics on that were working out. Taking it to the laundry in Antigua would seem like a reasonable solution, except the last time I did that all the laundry came back looking like it had been left out in the Phoenix sun for a month.
My method for resolving that situation was to call a mutual friend and say that I knew where he (the repairman), lived and that I wanted the washer back by noon, or else. He stuttered and promised to call me back. A short time later he called to say that the washer had been fixed five days ago, but the repairman’s truck was broken down, and he didn’t have the Q to pay someone else to deliver it.
Now, I can’t imagine taking someone’s property under obligation of fixing it, completing the repair, and then not returning it, and not even calling to explain the dilemma to El Patron. But that’s par for the course in Guate. So I told the mutual friend that I would pay for the truck to deliver the washer so long as it was delivered in working order within two hours. He mumbled something and hung up.
Next up was the Maid. Maid #6 has worked out very well and, most importantly, shows the appropriate degree of respect to the Wife. The Maid could be Maria Poppina but if she disrespects the Wife, nobody’s happy, right? But, for whatever reason, this morning the Maid needed to speak with me. As it turns out, she had just heard from her mother and her baby was sick and she wanted to leave.
Well, if a mother’s kid is sick, she has to go. But of course, there was more to the story. She wanted to borrow money to pay for the hospital, specifically, she wanted 300Q. Maybe I misunderstand the way the national socialist medical program here works, but I thought it was free. Oh well, she’s been a good Maid and had 800Q coming in a few days anyway, so if I loan her 300Q and she never comes back, I’m okay. She gets the 300Q and she leaves for the day.
I return to my cave office and think I’m going to be able to settle in for awhile when there’s a kid at the door announcing that someone is at the front gate asking for ‘Don Michael’. I go to the door to discover that it’s the appliance repairmen who have our oven, which had previously refused to heat to more than 219F. It’s tough to cook pizza at 219F, by the way. They had worked on it for a few days, not found any problems at all, and want to install the oven, turn it on and prove to me that it’s working.
A few minutes later, the Spanish teacher arrives and must speak with me that very moment about an urgent matter. Apparently the Wife and children all performed superbly on their recent Spanish tests, so well in fact, that the teacher was perplexed on how to award the prizes that he had decided I would be buying for them.
My response is, no doubt, the same as yours would have been, “Well, if they all did so well, your test obviously wasn’t hard enough. Give the test again with much more difficult questions and then I’ll decide what I want to give to the winner. Anything higher than an 80 means you’re not doing your job”. He didn’t like that answer but agreed to a retest. The Wife scored highest, which means we’re having Don Marco’s Special Homemade Grilled Cheese Sandwiches and Tomato Soup for dinner.
On the way back to my cave, the Wife stops me. She needs money. Apparently it’s market day and our friends at Dona Chica are calling to ask if we want our normal delivery of 300Q worth of Antigua’s finest fruits and vegetables.
Me: Sure, here’s 300Q.
Wife: But I might order some meat, so I’ll need more.
Me: Okay, how much do you want?
Wife: I don’t know.
Me: Well, do you need 100Q, 500Q, what?
Wife: Yeah, something like that.
Me: Okay, here’s 200Q.
I start to continue up the stairs and then the Wife stops me:
Wife: …and I need to send Maid #6 to the bodegona for some things…
Me: Okay, how much do you need?
Wife: Well, how long should I buy for?
Me: I don’t know, what do you want?
Wife: I guess a day or two worth of stuff.
Me: Okay, so that’s about 600Q, right?
Wife: Well, except that we’re out of a lot of things…
Me: Okay, so how much do you need?
Wife: I don’t know, let me make a list…
Then the phone rings, it’s a kid from the front door announcing that there is a truck here with the washing machine, and “Can I let them in, they look really mean?” So it’s down to the front gate to unlock and let the guys in. They get the machine hooked up, it works, and once I hand over the 60Q they’re gone.
I’m stopped as I try to sneak back to my cave by one of the four repairmen who are watching the oven slowly heat up. He wants to show me that the oven is now at 470F, higher than I’ve ever seen it and pretty impressive. He explains that the problem is probably that my Wife was running all the burners on the stove (there are five) at the same time as she was running the broiler and the oven, and that was the problem with the heat.
I smile and explain as best I can that we’ve never run all five burners and the broiler and oven at the same time, but if the oven is heating, then I’m happy. He tries to collect the 875Q he charged for not fixing anything even though we both know my landlord has already paid, but leaves happy when I tell him he’s done an excellent job and is very kind.
About that time the ‘fish guy’ shows up. This is the guy who brings fish and shrimp from Esquintla twice a week. I’m reminded that I had intended to teach Maid #4 what I wanted, but of course, she’s gone and the kids aren’t allowed outside alone and the Wife refuses to use her Spanish, so I’ve got to go talk to the fish guy.
Me: Buenos dias, tiene camarones, atún y dorado?
Fish Guy: Sí, tengo también el atún.
Me: Muy bien, cuanto questa para dos libras de atún?
Fish Guy: Para usted Don Marco, un precio especial sobre el atún, sólo 45Q por libra.
Me: Hmm, que suena como el precio de gringo.
Fish Guy: No, nunca.
Me: Bueno, yo llevo dos libras de atún, dos libras de el dorado, una libra de camarones.
Fish Guy: Yo también le trajo algunos cangrejos.
Me: Wow, que tiene actualmente el cangrejo?
Fish Guy: Sí, todavía están vivos y dispuestos para usted.
Me: Bueno, yo también caída de estos en agua hirviendo o algo antes de congelarlos?
Fish Guy: No, solo hay que echarlo en el congelador, su sabor es mejor así.
Me: Bueno, así que ¿cuánto le debo?
Fish Guy: ¿Cuánto quiere pagar?
Me: Dame el pescado. Aquí está 200Q.
As I make it back up to the office, the phone rings, and it’s Santiago. “Busy?”, he asks. “I don’t know, I’ve been busy all morning but I haven’t done anything. I thought when I first visited Antigua that I would spend my time sitting in the sun, smoking a cigar, philosophizing about things, calling to some hot Latina to bring me another drink or rub my shoulders, but I seem to spend all my time trying to manage my ever-growing crew so the house won’t fall apart around me.”
That’s when he delivers the line, “Yeah dude, living in Guatemala, doing nothing can be a full time job.”
No doubt.
Update on Maid #4
Posted by: | CommentsThe last chapter in this little drama was Maid #4 asking for 2,000Q as severance pay for her 3 hour a day job that paid 800Q a month. Readers will remember that I took some steps to determine what the ’spirit of the law’ was. After all, I believe that civil laws are binding on men unless they are opposed to divine law, so no matter how ludicrous it might seem, I try to do the ‘right’ thing when possible. Most of the time.
My lawyer said I owed her 800Q and the consensus among friends was that this was ‘reasonable’. So I offered her the 800Q payment less the 300Q which I had loaned her. Her response was 2000Q.
I actually spent some time thinking about this and my initial inclination was to negotiate, perhaps to offer 1000Q and she if she started working her way down. But when the Wife found out about all this, she was furious. Apparently the anger had been building for all those months, with her being disrespected, the Maid showing up late and leaving early, and always taking a doggie-bag home after dinner. The idea that we would pay anything more than we had to was really offensive to her. In fact, I’m pretty sure I was guilty for a) having let the Maid behave in this way and b) Being willing to pay anything at all.
I apprised Santiago of the updated status and he said, “Don’t budge. If she wants to take you to court it will take her months, she’ll have to hire an attorney, and I’ll go with you so we can give them hell together”. That didn’t sound like my idea of fun, but I figured I would learn something in the process. Most importantly, I knew that Maid #4 needed the money because she was calling daily, sometimes 3-4 times a day, asking where her money was.
To use money as leverage against a poor person is offensive to me on the surface, but I thought I was being reasonable with my offer and willingness to comply. If the attorney had said I owed her 2,000Q, I would have paid. If it was 4,000Q, I would pay. As it is, I held my ground at 800Q.
One of the negotiating secrets I learned doing private equity deals was that you can often times close a deal just by putting the money on the table with the contract. When people see a check for $10 million on the table in front of them and it’s just a signature away, sometimes the details get resolved quickly. In my business we would often work for months, sometimes a year, to get a deal done, only to have one party playing hard to get over some little detail. Cash on the table plus a contract usually wins.
I did that once buying a car too, by taking stacks of $100 bills to the owner’s house and offering an immediate, cash, discounted price. People can’t stand to have money just sitting on the table in front of them and contemplate it walking away.
I phoned Maid #4 and told her I had the document ready for her to sign and the 500Q in cash and that I would meet her. She repeated her demand for 2,000Q but said she would be at the office at 9am the next day. We decided to meet at a friend’s office rather than the attorney’s so she wouldn’t be intimidated by the attorney. I thought it was possible she would show up with an attorney, friend, family member, accountant, or possibly the whole neighborhood, but I was committed only to getting her signature and handing the 500Q, not a renegotiation.
So, the next morning I’m at the office at the appointed time. After 20 minutes she had not arrived, so I left the contract and the money with my friend and said, “If she ever shows up, get a copy of her cedula and her signature before you give her the money”.
Well, later that day I get a call from my friend who says, “The woman is here but she doesn’t want to give us a copy of her cedula. She does want the money”.
That’s an easy one folks, because as we had already learned this woman had four or five different names and had given us different names over the course of the negotiations, so I didn’t want to risk paying 500Q and having her come back with a different name later to ask for more. The lawyer was VERY insistent about this, so much so that I figured it was a point I probably shouldn’t challenge. Apparently she didn’t want to give a copy of her cedula, so I hung up.
In the end she signed, gave us a copy of her cedula and took the money, and I’ve not heard from her since.
Lessons learned:
1. You must have a contract with your employee. The contract should specify their duties, hours, and wages.
2. You’ll need to pay minimum wage (1,000Q) otherwise you’re open to being taken to the labor department. It doesn’t matter that your maid only works 3 hours a week, the law says she’s entitled to minimum wage. Of course, if you’re like the wealthy Guatemalans, just pay her 1,000Q a month and make her work 12 hours a day, 7 days a week. Apparently that’s just fine.
3. You’ll need to build their bona catorce, Christmas bonus and severance pay into their paycheck so that you don’t have to worry about doing all that down the road and have it be a big surprise.
4. You must have receipts for every payment you make. The receipt should specify not only that they received the money, but that the money represents all the pay they are entitled to for that pay period. You don’t want it to be your word against hers, because you are a Devil from the North and we all know your word is worthless.
5. Don’t loan money, or at least not beyond the current paycheck. This might be hard if you’re a charitable person, but I’ve learned they will take advantage of you, see you as weak, and otherwise abuse you. I’ve already loaned money to Maid #6 in violation of this rule, but I took it out of the very next paycheck and made sure she understood this couldn’t be a regular thing.
6. If trouble is brewing, get “lawyered up” real quick. Litigation is a business weapon in the states, and you have to look at it the same way here. The other side will have to go through the effort and expense to retain counsel, which drives up the cost for them as well. If your pockets are deeper, you have the advantage, and since your employee has every other advantage on you, you need everything you can get. Time and money are your only self-defense options.
Maid #4 Plays Her Hand
Posted by: | CommentsReaders may recall that Maid #4 started giving us some trouble recently, first by referring to my wife in the diminutive, as though she were her daughter, and then by showing her less and less respect to the point where she would not look at her directly when the Wife was speaking to her and would not stop doing whatever she was engaged in to receive instructions.
When we moved, Maid #5 stayed with the old house, so she is thankfully out of the picture, and through Marina and Genesis we found a wonderful new girl, so we have Maid #6 working well. More on that later.
A few days after I fired Maid #4, I got a call from a friend who said, “There is a woman here who says she used to work for you and you owe her some money, what should I tell her?” Welcome to a very small world known as Antigua, dear readers. It turns out Maid #4 had gone to this friend’s workplace (she met him once at my house), and explained that I owed her severance money, bona catorce and her Christmas bonus.
Now, Maid #4 worked for us for about 6 months. The original (verbal) agreement was that she would earn 800Q a month for four hours a day, six days a week. That quickly turned into three hours a day as she arrived late and left early, and she invariably missed a few days of work each month, but since she was getting the work done and was mostly reliable, we let it go. I considered it a raise after her probationary period, and felt good that I was being a generous employer.
Over the months I loaned her hundreds of Q, and always paid her even when she didn’t show up for work. We also fed her dinner every night, which she managed to stretch to over 30 minutes and usually took a healthy bag of leftovers home. Big mistake. So maybe it was like 2.5 hours a day, almost every day.
So I met with some friends and got their input, and the consensus was that at most I would owe her 1/2 month’s pay for severance and 1/2 month’s pay for bona catorce, but not the Christmas bonus since she didn’t work over Christmas. That sounded fair to me so I proposed that I pay her the equivalent of one month’s pay less the money I had loaned her.
My friend Santiago, who you all will remember has frequently provided insight and great advice on matters of dealing with the domestic help, advised me to get a contract drawn up so I could protect myself. I went to the lawyer, explained my needs, and he agreed to draw up the letter, but didn’t want to be involved directly as it might cause the Maid to ‘up the ante’ on her side. He seemed overly anxious that she might go to the government and complain about me.
He then explained that the way some people interpret the law, the minimum wage is 1,000Q per month, whether the person works one hour per month or 10 hours per day. So while I thought I was being generous in paying her and feeding her, if she was vindictive she might be able to drag me through the government and extort a lot of money from me. (Now readers should understand why US firms outsource to India and China and not Guatemala).
Well, I naively thought this couldn’t possibly be the case, after all, I had always been kind to this woman, paying her when she didn’t show up, feeding her a full meal for a 3 hour shift, advancing her money, buying her US quarters, etc. Little did I really know, for she began calling daily asking for her money and told me that she had consulted an accountant (I later learned the accountant in question is her son), who said that I owed her 2,000Q.
Now, before I moved here a year ago, a $250 bribe to make a problem go away would have been a no-brainer. It’s just a cost of doing business. The problem is, that here this is a daily kind of problem. Everyone wants money, and pretty soon word gets out that you’re an easy target. Plus, we’re trying to live on a lot less, so we can live this life in paradise indefinitely.
So, I immediately decided I wasn’t going to pay the extortion. None of my long-time Antigua resident acquaintances thought 2,000Q was a fair severance for six months of part time work. That means we’re going to play hard ball.
Stay tuned…
Drama With Maid #4
Posted by: | CommentsOver the last few months Maid #4 has continued to share with us bad news about her sister. Apparently she was in a truck with a bunch of other people when there was a collision with a chicken bus. It’s not hard to imagine how that could easily be catastrophic, and apparently she suffered many severe injuries, including head trauma.
As a result, Maid #4 has missed some work, arrived late and left early on several occasions. She has also asked for money repeatedly, something about having to take care of her sister’s family, or expensive surgery at the hospital, or other needs. I’ve given in on each occasion.
However, after talking with the Wife and kids, we’ve now counted three different occasions in which Maid #4 has announced that the sister has died and this is the reason she wasn’t at work the day before, or won’t be at work the following day. I’m thinking I’m getting played here.
The next drama was when Maid #4 brought her daughter over for me to interview. We wanted someone to help in the mornings, to replace Maid #3. I wasn’t comfortable with having two women from the very same family working in the house, but I need to practice my GuateInterviewing skills and so agreed. When the two women arrived, Maid #4 introduced the Wife by the diminutive version of her name. Imagine if she referred to me not as ‘Don Marco’ but as ‘Marcito’ (sp?)
Now, you all-or at least most of you-know that I use the Don Marco ‘handle’ self-mockingly just as all my friends do in the US once they learned this was how some people in Guate referred to me. Despite what some readers think, the idea of my being an aristocrat, given my origins and worldview, is laughable. However, I recognize it is a sign of respect within this culture and I act accordingly. I’ve never insisted before that the Wife be referred to as ‘Dona’, and she probably wouldn’t be comfortable with it anyway, but to have Maid #4 refer to her as she might my young daughter was too much.
I talked to a friend, you all know him as ‘Santiago’, and he told me to fire her immediately. He listed at length the problems this would inevitably lead to. I didn’t tell him we were already experiencing most of those problems, but I did ask him to visit with Maid #4 and I to talk about the need to treat the Wife with more respect and the need to show up on time and to ask permission before leaving (she’s developed a habit of just announcing she’s leaving, whenever she thinks she’s done enough for the day).
So Santiago, Maid #4 and I met and we talked about it. Of course, she denied ever referring to the Wife in this way, but seemed nonplussed about the whole thing. She also acted shocked that we were alleging she was regularly 15 minutes late and occasionally 30 minutes late. Watching the situation I realized just how comfortable and secure she was in her position, and afterwards Santiago repeated, “Fire her.”
Well, I didn’t, and the problems got worse. She arrived on time for a few days, called the Wife ‘Dona’ for a few days more, and then it was back to normal. She arrived when she wanted, left when she wanted, but worse, would no longer even look the Wife in the eye when she was speaking to her. She would just go along with whatever she was doing and half-way acknowledge her. She remained respectful to me, especially when asking for a loan or an advance. She also became very diligent about bringing a bag full of quarters every day, watching the teenager count them out and then convert them to Quetzals and then recounting them. When I learned this process was taking 15-20 minutes a day, I decided to put an end to acting as an exchange house. (Not to mention some readers accusing me of cheating the Maid on the exchange rate!) No good deed goes unpunished…
I know some of you are thinking that I’m making a big deal about the work the Maids do or don’t do, but you don’t realize that we do more loads of laundry and wash more plates than most hotels/restaurants in Antigua. I know that from having compared our consumption at the mercado and our bodegona/PriceSmart bills with restaurant and hotel owners. There is a lot of work in this house, and I need the Maids to be working for the time I’m paying them.
In the interim Genesis and Marina had inquired of their Maids if they had friends looking for work and so we had begun interviewing girls and found someone we liked, so I decided to let Maid #4 go. She handled it pretty well, but when I told her that she could keep all of the money I had loaned her as a ‘bonus’ or ’severance’, she acted confused, as though she had no recollection of the money I had loaned her. Whatever. I thanked her and said good bye.
The real drama didn’t begin until a week later, but you’ll have to wait for that.
Maid Help!
Posted by: | CommentsGuest Post by Marina K. Villatoro, Travel Experta.
I need some advice on the ins and outs of bonuses and other things when it comes to domestic help.
I have a great cleaning lady that comes to my house 6 days a week for 4 hours a day. She’s been with me for 4 months now and I’m very happy with her. I’m going to be heading to the US for one month and obviously don’t want to lose her.
Instead of paying her the bonus, I was planning on giving her 6 weeks (my trip plus holidays) off but fully paid. Basically, 100% paid vacation.
So my question is:
Even though I’ll be paying her for not working, do I still have to pay her a bonus?
GuateMop
Posted by: | CommentsThe Wife made an interesting observation the other day; how the Maids’ mop is actually equally efficient and yet far more sanitary than the standard US style mop. Now this is not the type of thing I would normally be interested in (housework being womens’ work and all), but I thought some of you noble savage types would appreciate this.
When we first moved here we were shocked and perplexed by the behavior of the maids when preparing to mop; they would stand over the pilar with our sharpest knife from the kitchen, jabbing it wildly into one of our best kitchen towels. Then they would slip the handle of the broom through the towel and wrap the towel around the business end of the broom to create a mop.
At the time I rolled my eyes and thought of it as a crude and wasteful use of two otherwise functioning resources. For one thing, we never seem to have enough towels (at least when I’m on kitchen duty), and the children observe that the broom ends up wet for the day, reducing its efficacy.
However, the Wife has noted that the Maids are able to remove that permanently altered towel and give it a thorough washing in the pilar every day. This would never happen with a normal mop, whether the medusa style or the sponge style. Instead those mops tend to collect nastiness until you throw them away. In addition to losing their effectiveness they almost certainly represent a health hazard.
So, score one for the Maids (and add a line item in your budget for towels, because between the daily mopping and the pilar, they’re not going to last long). Now if I can just get the Maids to work in an organized, pattern around the room they would not leave so many large spots untouched which are visible to anyone who stands back and looks.
As Long as You Spell My (Domain) Name Right
Posted by: | CommentsYears ago when I had the opportunity to work with a master PR guy on an acquisition, (he had just left a job as a top strategist for the RNC, but was then working in the private sector), he told me that all press was basically good, as long as “they spell your name right”.
Clearly not everyone would agree with this opinion, but I guess if you’re of the mindset that selling things is what matters, or getting votes is what matters (after all, there is no ‘intensity button’ on the voting machine) and you don’t really care what people think, well, I guess it works.
Perhaps that’s unwittingly what I’ve done here at GuateLiving. I wouldn’t want to see the results of an intensity vote; I’m pretty sure the hatred level would set new records, but with every new ‘truth at all costs’ posts the blog grows in fame…or maybe it’s infamy. You decide:
Yet over at Guate Living — el termómetro en el trasero de la vida gringa en la Antigua — we have been shocked to find the suggestion that meticulous locals will take their ceviche with a prophylactic of antibiotics, and that manitas shucas (almost exlusively of the Guatemalan kind) are the root cause of the regular unscheduled trips to the crapper that appear to afflict the more delicate members of the ex-pat community.
Whilst the occasional intestinal storm is almost unavoidable for those of us bearing bacteria in our gut that — however friendly — have yet to master the local lingo, we have found that we rarely suffer from the runs when we prepare our own comida at home.
We recommend that concerned readers kit out each of the maids preparing their gringo grub with PVC gloves, face masks and hair nets, if not indeed a sealed head-to-toe anti-microbial body suit. (NB: The mask is to prevent them from spitting in your soup.












